5 Ways to Attract Women — Lessons from the Tinder Swindler

Over the years, I’ve learnt dating lessons from the mistakes and successes of other men, simply from understanding how they behave in their relationships with women.

Simon Leviev (real name Shimon Hayut) from The Tinder Swindler may be a merciless conman — and I personally believe such men who act without conscience deserve the worst of what life can hand them — but as I watched the Netflix documentary, I see so many lessons I’ve learnt from my mentors and people around me.

On the superficial level, many may say his perceived wealth and status are what attracted his victims.

I’m not going to deny that. They can indeed be very alluring.

But I believe saying his victims fell for him only because of his “wealth and status” is a cop-out. You won’t do yourself any favours by limiting your perspective to those factors.

I see deeper lessons I’ve witnessed for myself many times, the little details that have helped me and plenty of other men (e.g. friends and students) attract the women we were interested in.

So here are 5 ways to attract women from The Tinder Swindler.

1. Have a Personal Swagger

There’s just something very captivating about a man who carries himself well.

Think about the iconic attractive men on TV.

Men like Don Draper (Mad Men), Harvey Specter (Suits), or Chuck Bass (Gossip Girl).

At first glance, you may think they are handsome, which is what makes them attractive. Their good looks help a lot, for sure.

But imagine them without their good looks.

Think of the way they carry themselves instead. The way they maintain eye contact with someone. The way they speak — their tone and inflections, how they pause and slow down, how they are so composed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMbXoFH5jJM&t=80s

Think of their attitude. Their character. Their belief system. That inner confidence they possess.

That is swagger.

You can convey that too. It takes conscious intention at the beginning, but over time, it becomes a habit and you’ll naturalize the behaviour.

2. Having an Instant Connection with Her

When Cecilie Fjellhøy and Pernilla Sjoholm (the first two women showcased in The Tinder Swindler) first met Simon Leviev, they found him very easy to talk to.

This is what Cecilie Fjellhøy said about her initial impression of him:

“Very quickly, he’d become very personal. And that’s what I liked about it.”

And this is what Pernilla Sjoholm said:

“A little bit short for my taste, was the first thing I was thinking. But he’s really easy to talk to. It’s quite rare that you meet someone and you have this instant connection.”

That instant connection they had, made both women feel comfortable immediately.

You can learn how to build an instant connection with a woman by reading this blog post on Quick Rapport.

The faster you get that connection, the better for you… because it feels like the both of you just naturally get along. You don’t have to manufacture it, or have forced conversations.

And since an instant connection doesn’t happen very often for people, it feels like serendipity. Women are very attracted to the idea that fate brought her and her ideal partner together.

3. A Memorable Dating Experience

In the documentary, Cecilie Fjellhøy was excited by the idea of flying in a private jet, something she’s never done before.

For most of us common folk, there’s no way in hell we’re able to afford a private jet.

But we want to focus on the fact she’s excited about doing something different. Something she can experience for the first time. Something she can tell her friends as a good story.

My girlfriend once recounted a story of an unusual first date she went on, with a guy she met on Hinge. They rode his bike from Singapore into Johor Bahru (Malaysia), which probably took less than an hour. And then they ate there before ending up at a beach.

It was a very different experience, as compared to the raft of coffee and dinner dates. In the words of my girlfriend: