What Do Guys Like In A Woman? 20 Qualities Men Love (And 20 They Don’t)

While all men have their own personal tastes when it comes to what they find attractive in a romantic partner, there are some qualities that are universally desirable. After all, pretty much all guys would agree that they want to be with someone who’s upbeat, fun to be around, and who’s caring and considerate. On the flip side, none of them want to date a person who’s narcissistic, selfish, or who’s very cold and aloof. But what is it that men really like in women when it comes down to the nitty-gritty?

If you’ve been regularly striking out with men, starting out hot and heavy only for the guy to lose interest overnight or pull away, it could be that you’re lacking some of the characteristics that they consider must-haves in potential girlfriends. While you certainly shouldn’t be going out of your way in an attempt to appeal to a guy as “girlfriend material,” you can naturally fulfill that role simply by having the qualities below. (And as an added bonus, we’ll share the traits men don’t love in women, too.)

Characteristics men like in a woman

1. 1. ConfidenceMany men are drawn to women who are secure in who they are, showcasing a strong sense of self-worth. They love when you’re feeling yourself and when you make it clear that you know what you bring to the table. Just be careful that you don’t cross that very thin line into being arrogant — that’s not attractive!
   2. IntelligenceEngaging in stimulating conversations and being knowledgeable on various topics can be very attractive. It should go without saying that you should ever downplay your intelligence or “play dumb” to appeal to men — the ones of value love when you go on a rant about astrophysics or share the intricate history of ancient Rome.
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   4. A killer sense of humorA woman who can laugh, share jokes, and see the lighter side of life is often appreciated. Sometimes life seriously sucks, and it’s important to be able to appreciate the ridiculous randomness of it all and crack up about it (to keep you from really cracking up). Plus, no one wants to be with someone who takes themself too seriously.

1. 1. KindnessCompassion and empathy towards others, whether towards loved ones or strangers, are traits many men like. It costs literally nothing to just be nice to people, even when they may not extend that same kindness back to you. There’s so much nastiness in the world — putting goodness out there helps even the scales just a little bit.
   2. Independence A woman who has her own goals, passions, and can stand on her own feet can be very appealing. Men love women who are self-sufficient, who love their own company, and who are living an amazing life all on their own. They want to add to what you already have, not be forced into the role of your “other half.”
   3. SupportiveBeing a pillar of support in times of difficulty is something many men cherish. It can be harder for guys to open up about their feelings, so when they do allow themselves to be vulnerable, they want to know they’re in safe hands and will receive the comfort and encouragement they need during tough times.

1. 1. HonestyOpen communication and sincerity in actions and words are foundational for trust. It doesn’t matter if what you have to say might be hurtful or make them angry. Most men would much rather be told the truth so that they can deal with it accordingly than to be left in the dark about what’s really going on.
   2. AdventurousnessAn eagerness to try new things and go on adventures can bring excitement to a relationship. The longer you’re together, the more naturally stale things are going to get. That’s just life. However, that’s also where a sense of adventurousness comes into play. Guys love knowing you’ll always be open to experiencing new things to keep your relationship (and life in general) exciting and engaging.
   3. AffectionateGenuine affection, whether through words, touch, or actions, can make a man feel loved and valued. This doesn’t mean 24/7 PDA or basically being attached to him like Velcro when you’re together. However, many guys like when a woman squeezes their hand sometimes, gives them a random kiss when walking by, and is just generally warm and inviting.

1. 1. RespectfulMutual respect is key in any relationship; understanding boundaries and valuing opinions is essential. It doesn’t matter if you agree with the things he says or does or if you like it  — you simply need to respect that his thoughts, emotions, and opinions are valid and no less correct or important than your own.
   2. LoyaltyLoyalty and faithfulness are traits that many men hold in high regard. He wants to know that he can trust you to be 100% faithful to him and also have his back. For instance, if your friends are talking down about him, you should be there to defend him and back him up. No guy wants to feel like he has a fair-weather girlfriend in his life.

1. 1. Good listenerA woman who can attentively listen, understand, and provide meaningful feedback can make a man feel heard and appreciated. That means you put your phone down when he’s talking, you give him your full attention, and most importantly, that you internalize the things he’s saying so that you truly hear him and understand him better. Don’t let it go in one ear and out the other even if he’s talking about something that doesn’t really interest you.

1. 1. PatienceBeing patient, especially during challenging times, can help in navigating the complexities of a relationship. This means you understand that he might not be on the same level as you when it comes to your relationship or even various life skills. While you shouldn’t have to baby him, you should be patient enough to recognize he’s doing his best and is working to catch up.
   2. PassionWhether it’s about a career, hobby, or cause, a passionate woman can be intriguing. Men like when a woman approaches life with intensity and zest. And yes, it should go without saying that they also love when this translates to the bedroom!
   3. Physical attractionWhile it’s subjective, physical attraction does play a role in many relationships. You wouldn’t want to be with someone that you had no chemistry with or didn’t find visually appealing, and guys are the same. They want to feel like they want to rip a woman’s clothes off and that they would like to look at her day in, and day out for the rest of their lives. It’s human nature!

1. 1. A sense of mysteryLeaving a little to the imagination or having depths to be discovered can keep the spark alive. While he likely wants to know everything about you, he doesn’t want an info dump on day one. Leave a little to the imagination and keep him guessing. It will make him want to chase you as he’s desperate to figure out more.
   2. AmbitionA drive to achieve one’s goals, whether they’re personal or professional, is something guys like in a woman. They want you to have long- and short-term goals for your life and a clear plan on how you’re going to achieve them. There’s nothing sexier than a woman who knows what she wants and how she’s going to get there.
   3. CompatibilityShared values, interests, and life goals can create a strong bond. This isn’t something you can force or that you need to do anything about — compatibility comes down to the type of people you both are, and if it’s not there, it’s just not the right situation. Don’t stress too much about this one!

1. Emotional stabilityBeing able to handle life’s ups and downs gracefully is a trait many men value. They don’t want to be on a constant emotional roller coaster because you have temper issues, fly off the handle at the smallest inconvenience, or are so hypersensitive that they’re constantly walking on eggshells around you.
2. OptimismA positive outlook on life can be contagious and uplifting. Sure, everyone gets down sometimes and that’s okay. However, your overall approach to life should be an upbeat one (and if you find that really hard, you might need to speak to a therapist or other mental health professional as you could be experiencing depression).